I must note that I wrote this post a few weeks ago- you know, right after Mother’s Day. Unfortunately things have been a bit hectic over here so it’s been on the back burner until today. I have a fabulous recipe in store for you, but I came down with the flu today and it just couldn’t happen. Please tell me how to manage a high fever and a 4 month old that likes to see new things every couple of minutes! Anyway- I’ll be back next week with loads to share, (assuming I get well soon!)
I have about 5 posts stored away for you. The only problem is that they are in my head, filed away behind the pile of sleepless mush that is my ability to be organized and on top of things. Sleep deprivation is no joke. For the first 3 months of my journey as a Mama I kinda felt like I was superwoman, totally able to function on barely any sleep and perky and energetic even with 5 hours of dis-jointed getting-up-every-hour rest. Well, things have changed my friends. It turns out that there are limits to how long we can run on empty and I hit a bit of a wall last week. I had my first “Mommy meltdown” and found myself crying to Hugo while he just smiled and laughed at my face. :)
I got to a point where I felt like I could no longer function without catching up a bit on sleep, and luckily that coincided perfectly with my Mom’s visit to New York for Mother’s Day. She allowed me to rest a bit in the mornings, and it has made all the difference. Plus we got to spend Mother’s Day together which was so special. Nothing has made me appreciate my Mom quite like becoming one myself. I love sweet Hugo and our time together more than anything, but motherhood is challenging, and that lady did it 5 times. (I also gained a huge amount of respect and appreciation for my Mother-in-Law who raised 5 kids as well!) Warrior Mamas all of them.
Anyway, where I was originally devastated at Hugo’s sudden decision to stop sleeping for more than an hour at a time, it seems like after a week or so I accept and expect it, which makes it a lot easier. He even gave us a night 3 hour stretch last night which felt amazing!!
I spend so much of my time reading books on baby sleep, searching for articles online, and asking every Mama I know what worked for them. My new plan is to forget it all and just take it one day at a time. I know we’ll both sleep eventually, but I’ve been driving myself mad trying to figure out the best “plan” and have been beating myself up for all the “mistakes” I’ve made already. (Sorry but my “sleepy not asleep” has never worked too well around here.)
My heart is so full of love that I could just burst, and I can’t believe that Hugo is already 4 months old. I need a constant reminder to slow down and cherish each little moment with him. I’ve had to forgo the dishes and making the bed and sometimes even taking a shower to just sit there and enjoy him- I know I will miss this. He changes so much every day and I can’t risk blinking while something sweet happens right before my eyes. :)
PS- Amongst the future baby related posts I have planned are my “Essentials” for the first few weeks of Breastfeeding, as well as my personal Baby Registry Essentials. Stay tuned!
Pictures courtesy of my talented sis Nadia Quinn
As a new mom to a three-month-old, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your honest tellings of motherhood and its challenges. You see and hear about the competitiveness that can come out in parenting; you know, wanting to look like everything is just peachy all the time, because somehow it would be embarrassing or shameful to admit that at times, hey, we need help, too? I manage but at times feel myself struggling and it’s incredible reassuring, encouraging, and refreshing to know I’m not alone those times I feel overwhelmed. Looking forward to future baby posts and of course, new recipes!
P.S. I can’t (and wouldn’t be so presumptuous as to) give advice on the sleep thing, but I hope you’re able to get some rest and that this is just a passing phase for Hugo. Best of luck!
The first baby is the hardest. Keep up the good work. You are a great mother.
You are an amazing mom and Hugo clearly loves you!! I can’t imagine how hard it is to go so long with so little sleep so I can only imagine how you are feeling. I’d have had about forty meltdowns already.
I hope you are feeling much better soon. Stupid forever flu season!
Hugs, friend. Clara still has times that she won’t sleep very well, like when she’s teething or going through a developmental growth spurt. I hope you are both able to get some rest soon (and that you feel better!). And try not to beat yourself up; you’re doing a great job.
Mommy extraordinaire! Get well soon.
Dear Audra, I’ve been enjoying your blog for 2 or 3 years now and I honestly tell that you, not just your blog. are a gift for all of us. You share such good recipes, but that´s secondary, the first thing around here is all the love and care you give to your bloggers. I´m mother of six extraordinary girls, age range 5 to 16. This DOES NOT mean that I know everything, but the advice I can give is definitly based on experience.
Little Hugo is learning the rules of this new game which is life, and you have to teach him. During night time you, loving mommy, feed and change diaper, ONLY feed and change diaper. You don´t sing, you don´t play, you don´t smile for more than a second, you don´t even turn the light on, you use a night lamp.
Now I continue . . .
A night lamp means is a low bright light. More than this, you turn it off when everything is going on in the right way. why? because night activity is different from day activity. At night time you DO NOT do the same things you would during the day. And this is something you have to show him, how? taking it to the practice field. mom and dad have to, nobody else will. After he´s fed, clean and burp you take him back to his bed. He does not seem to be pleased? Night time if for sleep, unless you have a different rule for your family life. You leave him there, turn off the light, better if it was off, and you go back to your bed. He may want to play a game for a little time, he may want the last kiss for the night or the second last, but . . . it´s time to sleep. Is this cruel?
Is not a matter of cruelty. Its a matter of discipline looking forward for him to learn the rule(limit) that will help him play the game. Is he crying? are you heartbroken? You are allowed to do this ONLY ONCE during the first nights of practice. You go checking roof has not fallen over him, and once you have verified everything is all right, calmly you go back to bed. Yes . . . you let him live the experience. There is nothing wrong in leting him cry for a while, or for a long while. Everything you both, mom and dad, decide to do with this little baby is a choosing excercise . Make your decision be balanced, for your own and your baby´s good. With love, Zaira
PS Since English is not my native language I know you´ll forgive all the mistakes . . .
Oh, that face. You should totally forgo the dishes to enjoy it. I’m so sorry you’re not sleeping though! I have a hard time falling asleep every night, so I understand sleep-deprived frustrations (though not to the same extent — I don’t have a crying baby to answer to!).
Um… how are you and your sisters all so classy and gorgeous looking?!?! Oh, because your mom is, too :)
Aw, Audra, Hugo is gorgeous. He looks so much like your husband!
Good on you for recognizing that 1) you’ve hit a wall and 2) you just have to accept it and do the best you can. I have a lot of new parents in my life and have seen them all go through this. You look like you’re doing a fine job, so just keep doing what feels right for you. I’m sure Hugo will see you with the same adoration that you see your mom!